This piece is co-written between two Stay On The Safe Side writers. We wanted to share the experience of meeting Soph* from a joint perspective.
“People post-pone getting help because ‘how is that gonna affect my life’?” there is a chilling silence that follows her question. This is something I spend days wondering about before sitting and writing the feature.
Lucy and I are sat in complete silence. As we ease into the situation we’ve got ourselves into, we start exchanging glances and small giggles. Lucy and I continue to exchange giggles and glances to create humour out of situation we have gotten ourselves into. It’s awkward to say the least. I first see her in my peripheral vision, she seems like a regular here, complementing some guy at another table on his performance last weekend. She has grabbed my attention with her lilac harem trousers and her blond pixy cut hair, head thrown black laughing, with a pint of beer in hand.
I had already made contacts for a piece back in 2016 when I wrote a report on how Newcastle University had changed their drug policy. I had spoken to Zoe Carre, the person behind SSDP’s chapter at Newcastle. I thought perfect, this is a contact I’ve already got that can help Stay The Safe Side produce some content. As I scrolled through Facebook, I searched for SSDP Newcastle and saw that they were hosting an event at Bar Locco, which I did in fact have to google. I’d heard of it, but didn’t exactly know where it was – considering I’ve lived here for four years now, I know, it is slightly shameful. When the image popped up on Google, I instantly messaged Simona and said to her, and excuse me for being extremely stereotypical, but it looks like the type of place to hold a meeting about drugs, where there is a guy outside with dreadlocks, smoking a joint and wearing hippie trousers. But on a more serious note, the place just radiates good vibes, those kind of vibes where nobody judges you on what you look like, or what you do in your free time. So after speaking to Simona, we both decided to head down to Bar Locco on a chilly, but warm Sunday evening. This is how we met Soph.
Her name is Soph and she’s taken it upon herself to bring back to life the SSDP Society at Newcastle University. “I was always really strictly, totally anti against drugs. Seemed terrified of them, you know. What horrible group of people would do that? That’s what I’ve been told by media, my mother and like other members of my family.” Soph is sat cross-legged on one of the worn-out leather sofas, her pint of beer cowered in a sheen of condensation glistening in the setting sun that’s coming through the large windows on the opposite wall. “People have spent their life trying to find pleasure places, you know, it’s just like not having access to safety information, safe places to go is like not letting people having condoms, you know what I mean? Like they’re gonna do it, not saying that everyone should. Sometimes it can be a bad thing to do, if you don’t have the right setting, mind-set or whatever. It’s not fair to outcast them as a society because they’ve made this choice and they should be allowed to make sensible choices. That’s what I think.”
As we are sat there more and more people trickle in, every time a new face joins in Soph immediately stops what she’s saying and introduces everyone. What comes across the most is she cares and she’s considerate of ensuring everyone feels welcome. Her pint half empty now, white foam like soap suds decorating the inside rim of her glass. “So I wanted to know what academic careers I could go into to help that and that’s when I came across the SSDP and saw that there was an opening for me to re-setup a society here. I thought I would do that, focus on harm reduction and getting rid of some of the taboos and talking about it really.”
Sim, a med student who came in a little late to the meeting, who is also a previous member of the society explains why he believes the work of the society is important: “I’ve never seen more drugs than when I came to uni. I think it’s the case of having seen really good sides of it and really bad sides of it.” He explains his journey of learning the basics of drug testing and getting into a habit of weighing things out and testing everything. As Sim plays with the cap of his water bottle, he explains how this has had a trickle-down effect on him and his mates, how this hobby has evolved into safer practices – out is the eyeballing of things.
Soph's explaining how SSDP society came to exist and then the previous president couldn’t gather the required minimum of 15 paid members, and therefore the society had been shut down due to the lack of funding and advertising. But that’s changing now that Soph has set her mind on it. As the meeting is coming to an end, decisions have been made, committee roles established and Soph finishes her pint. She seems more relaxed around us now, less anxious. The members establish best communication channels for getting started. It’s agreed on by the majority that Facebook group would be the most convenient and most logical solution. “Is there an issue with our names being attached to it, in like employment wise?” one of the member queries. Soph exhales loudly and visibly tenses, she stutters at first: “Legally not. If your future employer sees it and they have a personal opinion, they might not interview you.” A collective “whaaaaat” follows Sophs' response. “That’s the thing, I want to combat the stigma, but at the same time…” Soph trails off as she admits her drug use is still a secret to her parents and some other of her Facebook friends.
After the meeting had finished, the other guys started to mingle with each other, and two of them realised that they lived in Jesmond. As their chat progressed, they both realised that they have mutual friends, and made their way back to Jesmond together. This was whilst Soph went downstairs to get her other pint, that she annoyingly had to go and collect because of the £5 minimum spend on the card machine. As she walked back through to us, Simona and I were left with Emma. She was the first person we met through this interesting encounter as she was awkwardly standing outside Bar Locco waiting for other people to say they were there for the SSDP meeting. As Soph indulged on her second pint, it made me wish that I had got myself a drink, as the sun came through the curtains and glistened on her drink. As the conversation went on, and the more we spoke, we started to become open with our opinions on recreational drugs. We don’t all properly know each other and considering the topic of conversation, you would expect us all to be quite reserved with our thoughts. I suppose what I’m trying to get at is that Soph made me feel at home, she made me feel like I could open up and say what I want, without judgement. Which is what we should all be like when talking about drugs.
As Simona and I left Bar Locco, we left with pleasant smiles on our faces, a sense of relief. The feeling that we had actually come away from the meeting, having not known what to expect and were pleasantly surprised. The meeting had opened our eyes to so many different issues and opinions that people don’t want to talk about because of the connotations connected to drug taking.
Later the next day, Soph contacted me on Facebook: “I did lose a little sleep last night worrying about things I’d said to you. You won't get me in any trouble, will you?” Soph knows the stigma and danger that follows opening to someone publically even with the best intentions. I wonder if maybe people are not only afraid to come forward, if they have a problem, but they’re also afraid to have an opinion?
Soph mentioned to us that Professor David Nutt was having a talk on addiction next Wednesday that we should go to. I decided to go and see it for myself. He made some really interesting points about how the media falsely represent the use of drugs in a negative way. Although I didn’t say hi to her, because I was sitting too far away, it was nice to see a familiar face in the busy crowd. Nutt’s talk reminded me of something that Soph had said to us during the meeting: “I’m not saying you should do them, but for me it was really good. Drugs themselves can be used as tools for good things or bad things.”
*Name changed under the request of maintaining anonymity